


a 100 days countdown

by eggrater



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, hello im back with ANGST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 02:06:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11568072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggrater/pseuds/eggrater
Summary: People slip away from your grasp so easily. Sometimes you can't make them stay, no matter how much you loved them.





	a 100 days countdown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amoureux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoureux/gifts).



> HI!! I haven't been active here for awhile but here's a hurriedly written Yuzusho angst HAHAHAH   
> This is an early birthday present for Ella. She's not around, definitely. But happy early birthday, love!! Remember we will always welcome you home. Have a great year.   
> xx,   
> Yash
> 
> The words with italic + bold that are not the days are lyrics.

“Hey, Yuzu?” Javier called after a little tiring practice session.

Yuzuru sipped his drink before responding. “Yeah?”

“Are you and Shoma okay?” He asked. Yuzuru raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, perfectly fine. Why, though?”

“No, I just remembered. Someone used to tell me when I was a child, that when a couple reached their 100th day, it’ll be easier for one of them to leave during the next 100 days. It proves the strength of your relationship. I never exactly believed in it, but I just wanted to make sure.”

Yuzuru chuckled. “We’re perfectly okay, don’t worry.”

***

**_DAY 100_ **

Yuzuru can’t help but remembering the words Javier said to him earlier. So he started a countdown. He’s going to prove to Javier that they’re going to make it through another 100 days. They’re going to make it through 100 days, 100 months, 100 years. No matter how long it is, he wants to prove to Javier that they’re going to make it.

Shoma called him when he just finished training at 8. The younger skater was preparing for his practice. He was bright as always, telling him about the random things he had to say. Of course, Yuzuru did most of the talking, but he was listening to everything Shoma had to tell him. About his family, about his friends, what he ate yesterday, about his practice.

Nothing is wrong.

Shoma had the same glint of excitement in his eyes, the same beauty that attracted Yuzuru every time. The way he talked, the way he moved the camera to show the surroundings. Shoma felt like home.

Yuzuru feels safe.

**_DAY 99_ **

Shoma passed a garden on his way to the rink while calling Yuzuru, so they ended up talking about flowers for 30 minutes. Yuzuru talked about how Shoma reminded him of daffodil. How he bloomed and how it brought hope and rebirth. How the sun seems to always be shining when Shoma is with Yuzuru. Shoma blushed a lot. Yuzuru loved it.

Shoma talked about red tulip. How he felt when he first told Yuzuru he loved him. Flowers bloomed in Yuzuru’s heart.

Flowers are pretty but nothing would ever beat Shoma’s beauty.

**_DAY 98_ **

Today Shoma called when he was about to start practicing. It must be late out there. He looked like something was bothering him, so Yuzuru didn’t take his time. He asked. “Did anything happen? Do you want to talk about it?”

The younger skater smiled bitterly. “I just realized you must be so loved by everyone.” He started. “Of course, I like it. You deserve all the love in the world, it’s just, sometimes, I just feel a little bit lonely. You’re loved by everyone. Everyone knows and loves Yuzuru Hanyu, and sometimes I just feel a little bit forgotten. But of course, I’m glad that you—“

“Shoma.” Yuzuru looked into his eyes through the screen. God, he wants to teleport to Japan and hold his lover and tell him that none of that matters if he doesn’t have him. “Shoma, look at me.”

The world silver medalist looked up.

“You know that I’d rather have you than having everyone in the world telling me they love me but not having you, right?”

He smiled.

**_DAY 97_ **

Yuzuru woke up to a text.

_I don’t know what made you stay but thank you for putting up with this mess that is me._

_Thank you._

_I love you._

Yuzuru was a little bit confused but smiled and replied with an _I love you too_.

**_DAY 96_ **

Yuzuru finished his free skate for the Olympic season. He’s nervous for what’s coming, but he has confidence on this program. He, Brian, and the choreographer worked so hard for this. Yuzuru will do his best at the upcoming season to show them that the hard work was worth it.

He remembered he’s going to Japan in a few days, and the thought of it alone excited him.

Finally meeting Shoma, after such a long time.

**_DAY 95_ **

Shoma sent him a picture of his costume for Turandot. Yuzuru smiled and told him it’s pretty. Shoma always has beautiful costumes. His costumes at last season were on point too. But it’s even more beautiful when the quad-flip-sama is wearing it.

Yuzuru is biased but he doesn’t care.

“This is going to be a tough season.”

“At least you’re here.”

Yuzuru smiled, and they stayed in silence, listening to each other’s steady breathing.

**_DAY 94_ **

“I’m going to meet you in two days.”

**_DAY 93_ **

Yuzuru’s flight is today. He spent his time on the plane thinking about his new programs, how he’s going to polish it, and what to do for the upcoming season.

In the middle of that, Shoma of course showed up. How his smile radiated happiness into Yuzuru’s soul and how happy he made him. It has been a week since Javier told him that, and of course everything is alright, right?

They’re fine.

Yuzuru’s not losing Shoma.

**_DAY 92_ **

Shoma’s arms. Shoma’s smell. Shoma’s gentle rubs on the back of his hand.

Yuzuru has never felt safer in his life.

**_DAY 91_ **

Shoma is here, with him. Laughing over a bad joke Yuzuru just told him. But there’s something that’s weird. Something is off. It feels like Shoma is so far away. He’s right there, Yuzuru can just hold out his arms and Shoma would crawl into them. But it feels so distant.

He’s slipping away.

No.

**_DAY 90_ **

Yuzuru has learned to never get too attached to someone.

He’s used to people leaving. People are always temporary. They come, make good memories, and leave. And it always hurts when they do, so Yuzuru has always learned not to get too attached to someone, because it’s doing more harm than good.

But with Shoma, he was so sure he didn’t need to do that.

He didn’t need to, right? Shoma’s going to stay, after all.

Maybe it’s just his feelings.

But Yuzuru—

**_DAY 89_ **

He’s scared.

**_DAY 88_ **

**_I feel like my courage is fading, but while I've still got it, I'll go to you_ **

Yuzuru found himself in Shoma’s arms. Holding him tight, tears staining Shoma’s shirt.

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m here.”

**_DAY 87_ **

Yuzuru opened the door and buried his face on Shoma’s shoulders.

Shoma kissed him first.

**_DAY 86_ **

Yuzuru went back to Toronto, his heart is heavy. He keeps thinking about the feeling he felt that day. Even after he confessed everything to Shoma that night, the night Shoma kissed him slowly and tenderly, whispering promises. _He’s not going to leave. He’s not going to leave. He’s not going to leave. He’s here, he’s here._

The sound of the plane taking off wasn’t louder than his brain, trying to think hard about what was off.

He said he’s here, but why did he seem so far?

**_DAY 85_ **

Yuzuru found himself crying for no reason. It was late at night, and he just finished talking to Shoma about their new programs. But here he is, tears running down his cheeks. Shoma’s just getting more and more distant every day and Yuzuru hates it. He hates it.

It feels like if Yuzuru lets his guard down and untightened his grasp a little bit—

**_DAY 84_ **

\--Shoma will be gone.

**_DAY 83_ **

Shoma didn’t call him. He’s probably busy, isn’t he?

Yuzuru stopped glancing at his phone.

**_DAY 82_ **

Another day passed without a call from Shoma.

**_DAY 81_ **

_Are you okay? You haven’t called me for two days._

Yuzuru sent the message and he felt like 20 blades were removed from his shoulders.

 _I’m sorry. Been a little bit busy with practice_.

**_DAY 80_ **

Yuzuru has so much to say.

Shoma is so far away.

**_DAY 79_ **

_I’ll call you tomorrow morning. I think we need to talk, don’t we?_

Yuzuru froze at the message.

He hates the phrase _we need to talk._ He’s scared. What does he want to talk about? Why tomorrow morning? Why can’t he do it right now? Yuzuru hasn’t heard his voice for ages. Why can’t he just call him right now?

Yuzuru is scared.

**_DAY 78_ **

Yuzuru knew when he decided to fall and give up everything for his man, he’s screwed. Yuzuru knew that giving the most of his emotions into this relationship was a bad idea. After all, it’s always logic over feelings. He feels stupid.

Because of his emotions, here he is, phone in left hand, another hand covering his mouth, trying not to make a noise while his shoulders are shaking. Tears are falling, and nothing can stop them.

**_Even if you're miles away, it's alright being far away_ **

**_At the end of the radiating light, we'll be together on our sailing days_ **

Yuzuru remembered him singing the song with Shoma.

Where did the promises goes? Where did all the slow kisses, sweet whispers of promises go? What did it even mean to him?

Shoma’s voice echoed in Yuzuru’s head.

_“Let’s break up.”_

**_DAY 77_ **

Yuzuru’s world crumbled.

**_DAY 76_ **

Yuzuru knew he would leave, but he hates it when it’s like this. Even when he knows that he will eventually leave, it’s still hard. His tongue ache at the mention of his name. His heart ache at him. Everything hurts, everything hurts.

It scares him.

It scares Yuzuru how easily people slip out from the grasp of your hand, no matter how much you loved them. No matter how much _they loved you_.

**_DAY 75_ **

_I found a new home._

_It’s bright and lovely and nice._

_Thank you for everything, Yuzuru. See you next season._

Yuzuru read the first sentence over and over again.

It only took five words to break his heart.

**_DAY 74_ **

Yuzuru smiled bitterly at Javier.

“It didn’t even take him 100 days to leave.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> The first lyrics are from the song "Daylight" and the second one is "Miles Away", both from Arashi from their latest album, "Are You Happy?"   
> I've been obsessed with this boyband lately 100% must give it a shot!!   
> Thanks for reading! Hmu on twitter, @emergency3A <3


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